the revisionist history channel
My mother subscribes.
There is no middle ground when one side changes the details to suit their own needs. It was almost comical to hear that I was the one who chose the first grandparent names and they never wanted those names to begin with. She will tell herself that enough times and it will Become True. Never mind the fact that I didn't and if I had chosen names for them, I never would have come up with those names to begin with. Hell, I didn't even know how they were going to spell one of them until the first birthday came and something was signed.
She cannot fathom and refuses to consider why changing her name for the new grandchild would matter.
I think it's time to close that book, stash it on a shelf behind others that never get touched and get back to knitting and the part of my life that doesn't hurt. Of course, I reserve the right to pull it out now and again to pick at the scab.
Thank you for all of your kind and thoughtful words both on here and privately.
There is no middle ground when one side changes the details to suit their own needs. It was almost comical to hear that I was the one who chose the first grandparent names and they never wanted those names to begin with. She will tell herself that enough times and it will Become True. Never mind the fact that I didn't and if I had chosen names for them, I never would have come up with those names to begin with. Hell, I didn't even know how they were going to spell one of them until the first birthday came and something was signed.
She cannot fathom and refuses to consider why changing her name for the new grandchild would matter.
I think it's time to close that book, stash it on a shelf behind others that never get touched and get back to knitting and the part of my life that doesn't hurt. Of course, I reserve the right to pull it out now and again to pick at the scab.
Thank you for all of your kind and thoughtful words both on here and privately.
posted by Gretchen at 2:46 PM
5 Comments:
Sometimes, all you can do is knit on. But realize that many stitches are being put on many needles just now while you are being thought of.
Thinking of you. You're an amazing person and a great Mum -- in spite of all of this.
big hug,
j
I am sorry you are hurting. It is really hard to not just pick on those scabs. Sometimes you just have to peal them away until you have your fill; sometimes it is better to fill time up with other things. You will find your balance.
Your mom is the one who is losing out on a meaningful relationship with her beautiful, amazingly talented daughter and her more wonderful and beautiful grandchildren. Your mom has it wrong though…it doesn’t matter whose interpretation is right…it matters that her daughter is hurting. As mothers, we know that we would rather bear any amount of hurt than to see our children hurting. Gretchen, your children are so lucky to have you as their mom…and be proud, you have broken the cycle!
Sorry this is so painful! Sometime people can be very hard to deal with (and I'm a psychologist, I should know).
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