I am about to begin knitting a blanket of prayers. I have a girlfriend I have known since I was eleven or twelve years old. I'm now nearly forty, so you do the math (I have hated math ever since my eighth grade algebra teacher flipped out during class and grabbed a kid by the collar for getting to class after the bell rang, but that's another story). Anyway, I have known her for most of my life. She was and is one of those genuinely good, kind people that you count yourself lucky to know. She sees the best in everyone and you can't help but feel comfortable around her. She is just that kind of person. And true to the core.
My friend and her husband have been trying and hoping and praying for a baby for years, now. They have endured rounds of unsuccessful ivf, successful ivf that ended in miscarriage and the loss of their baby girl at twenty-three weeks gestation. After all of this heartbreak, they have now set out on the road to adoption, hoping and praying that their baby is out there, waiting to become the center of their universe, as our children do. M. is the kind of person I would choose to be my mom if such things were possible.
And so I am beginning a blanket of prayers. With each wrap of yarn around my needle, I pray that this blanket will someday be wrapped around the precious soul that is to be my dear friend's child. With each stitch I pray that someone out there making one of the most difficult decisions of her life will choose my friend and her husband to love, nurture and cherish her baby. With each row completed I pray that their hearts will find each other soon.
They have been told that so often people connect because a friend has a friend with a niece who... ...you've heard the story. And so, with my friend's permission, I am posting her letter below.
We are Meredith and Scott and we are hopeful adoptive parents. After unsuccessfully trying to have a baby through several infertility treatments, we have made the decision to adopt through private adoption. We need your help though; after reading our story, please take a moment to forward this message to three people.
We met ten years ago through a mutual friend who was getting married. I was living and teaching in Maryland and Scott was in Texas. After talking on the phone everyday for several months and visits between Texas and Maryland, Scott moved to Maryland. Three years later we were married. Soon after, we decided to try to start our family. After several months of unsuccessful attempts, we went through several tests.
The doctors told us the only chance we had of getting pregnant would be through in vitro fertilization (IVF). We finally went through the procedure and joyfully, we found out the procedure worked on the first attempt and I was pregnant. The joy was mixed with fear and apprehension as the pregnancy proceeded.
After 4 months, a sonogram revealed that the baby was not growing as she should and we were sent to a high risk doctor for more tests. Everything appeared normal, but she was still small. The doctors said they would need to monitor the baby weekly.
When I was just over 23 weeks pregnant, stressed and starting a new job as the department chair of a special education department at a middle school, I started to feel sick. After two restless, almost sleepless nights, feeling worse, Scott made me go to the emergency room. They did many tests and finally determined that I had severe pre-eclampsia with HELLP syndrome which is very rare at that early stage in pregnancy. I was transported to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD from our local hospital by ambulance. Our high risk doctor, who works at Johns Hopkins, stabilized my high blood pressure, but my liver was failing and my white blood cell count was decreasing.
I had to make a decision to induce labor or I could have died. Our baby, Alison was born on September 10, 2004; she was too small and weak to survive outside my womb. We were devastated and heartbroken, but physically I was healing. After several months of grieving, we decided to attempt IVF again. That was May 2005; that attempt along with another attempt in August were unsuccessful. In November, we went through a Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle. Happily, that cycle was successful and we remained cautiously optimistic. We even saw a heartbeat. During my last visit to the fertility clinic, suddenly, there was no heartbeat. I was almost 3 months pregnant at the time.
I have always wanted to have a baby, to hold and love no matter what path he or she comes to me. After talking with many people, including my brother in law and sister in law, who have chosen adoption, we have decided to take that path as well.
Scott is a sales manager and I am a special education teacher. We are an easy going, family-oriented couple. We have a Dalmatian named Isabella who is definitely a mommy's dog. We love to spend time with our friends and families and our nieces and nephews both near (MD) and far (TX and FL). We are thankful that our journey to parenthood has led us to seeking a child through adoption.
If you know someone who may be looking to make a difficult and brave decision to place her child for adoption, please contact us or even if you don't, please forward this email to at least three people. We will pay all legal and medical expenses. We can be reached at 1-877-586-9453 (toll free) or 240-620-3736 (local DC area).
Meredith and Scott
Knitty fans will likely recognize these wild stripes.